'This is England'. Or is it?

Hello there.
So. Today in Film studies we were looking at British social realist cinema and the film used as a case study was This is England. Also, today is 03/03, which means that it is Bulgaria's liberation day. And because of the aforementioned statements I thought about nationalism and what the implications of it may be. I may be spoiling the film a lot here, so if you hate someone doing that, feel free to leave. I won't be mad. Honestly. Back to the topic. In the film, the protagonist was a kid, Shaun, whose father died in the Falkland's war. He is bullied in school but then meets a group of skinheads, who are surprisingly welcoming towards the little guy. They become very close and all is well until Combo, a racist and psychotic guy shows up. He turns out to be someone from Woody's past and also a skinhead but that is really irrelevant now. He recruited a few of Woody's group to go join the National Front party after a long speech filled with radical nationalism and shit talking about immigrants. Pukey, (btw, I didn't recognise his face at first, but I was thinking how I've seen those crooked teeth before and I realised it was Jack O'Connell about halfway through the film, lol) wasn't as affected by the speech Combo gave as Shaun. On one hand he is a young boy and as such he most probably thinks that what someone older than him knows more, even though he has sort of a rebel act throughout the film. On the other hand, he lost his father fairly recently to the time in which the film was set and he latched onto the first guy who showed him attention. Lots of partying, underage drinking, smoking and a weird kiss between a 12yo. (Shaun) and a 16yo. (Smell) later I had a feeling something bad was going to happen (and yes, I do realise I sound like a cheesy film reviewer). But boy, that was more than what I expected. So, what happened was Combo got tuned down by Woody's girlfriend Lol and in his self-pity he decided to get high (surprise, surprise). He met Milky (a black dude from Woody's group, who he offended on multiple occasions before) and asked him for weed. So, fast forward a couple of hours, they are high AF, sort of drunk and Milky starts talking about his big family. Combo seemed saddened by that story but then he lashes out and starts beating Milky. He kills him and Shaun watches and then is asked to leave. But when he returns he sees that his friend is dead and Combo starts regretting what he did but it was too late, obviously. Later on, Shaun is shown where he started, alone, near the beach. Only this time he has the flag of England Combo gave to him. He throws it in the ocean and the film ends with a close up to his face, looking straight in the camera. What got me though is that right after the screen went black, there was a 'in memory of' and a name which I've never heard before. But then, when the end credits started I realised that this person's surname was the same as the actor who played Shaun. The film was released in 2006 and the year of death was 2005. At the time I didn't think much of it but an hour ago I found out it was his mom that had died. And he was 12. Sad, isn't it? So, I know my posts have never had much structure or were very nicely written, but I think this one might matter more than all the shit I had written about in the past. After that film I felt sad but not in a bad way. I felt the sadness of realisation, if there is such thing. I sat there thinking about how this film was literally what I thought of England before I came here. Nationalism, old brick buildings with lots of shitty graffiti on them, the specific style in which people dressed. But I was also seeking that inclusiveness and open-mindedness that I have never experienced back home and that I thought I needed desperately. So, yeah, there are old buildings, there are shitty graffiti, there is nationalism (or at least enough for Brexit to happen), but also there is that community feel and the lack of judgement I was seeking. I would be lying if I say I don't like it here. I sometimes feel unwanted though, and that is one shit of feeling. I am not blaming anyone for that though because I'm pretty sure it's just me being my too messed up self. Back to the topic, I am starting to see that every country has national pride and national holidays and national cuisine and whatever the fuck else. But why? Why should you be proud of the mere accident that you were born in that specific piece of land? Yeah, everyone wants to belong somewhere, but why think you are greater than everyone else? What makes one better than someone else? And I'm not a saint in any shape or form. I have caught myself thinking the same things everyone else is, but however ashamed I may be, I am writing about it. And I want to change it. Example for me personally is Middle Eastern people. And I am refusing to call them either refugees or illegal immigrants. Yes, there is a war conflict there, yes, some of them are running from a war, but some of them are using that excuse to find a better life and to be honest, I don't blame them. Everyone is looking for what they don't have, for something they think would be better. I'm not saying that I am racist, nor hostile towards those people. However, because of things I've seen on the news, what my parents have told me and what is actually happening in real life, I am wary towards them. Which makes me feel really bad and hypocritical, because I am a strong believer that everyone deserves to be treated equally. I am trying to change though, so hopefully one day I would be free of most prejudices I have for people in general (I have a feeling one could never be fully open to everyone but I wish it was like that.). I think that hatred for 'the other' is, sadly, deeply rooted in everyone's conscious, just some choose to not let it take over. And here I'm going to accuse all of our ancestors, relatives, parents that they have not done a very good job of teaching kids tolerance. However, it is not only their fault. The media presents events and 'others' so it creates an entertaining programme, which attracts viewers, which attracts money. And with that I don't mean that one should stop watching TV or reading the newspaper. I mean quite the opposite actually, more people should be ready to piece up information from as much different sources to get to the truth. (if anyone is still reading, I know this sounds like a shitty conspiracy theory, but bear with me, please) Back to nationalism though. Being proud of 'your country'. It sound silly when you think about it. Do you own the country? Do you feel like a part of this group of over a million (in UK's case 64 million) people? Can you even feel included, when there is no possible way you could even know every person in that nation. In my other module, I was introduced to Benedict Anderson's 'Imagined Communities'. In his book he focuses on the nation as an imagined community. I had never looked at nations and thought, yeah, but what the hell is a nation? Why were they formed? What is the purpose for millions of people to hate others, kill and die for their country? (finally some connection to the film) I hate to say this (and it could sound offensive but I really don't mean it that way) but dying for your country? Really? Yes, it may have some personal significance and that is absolutely fine with me, but if you think you are doing it for the greater good, do you really think this is the best way to make someone proud of you? (before I started university I never thought about topics such as the many mentioned in this post and now, six months later, I have developed a passion for discussions on hard and sensitive topics, if you hadn't noticed) So, I was thinking... Tonight there is this event for the 3rd March for the Bulgarian Liberation Day. And at first I was reluctant whether I should go or not (because tbh, I only get along with three people out of all the Bulgarians). And now I am even more torn. I think that yes, what our ancestors have done in the past is amazing and we should always remember all the sacrifices and hundreds of years in thrall they had to endure for us to be here. But also my initial thought was, well, Combo was also proud of his country and he wanted to protect it at any cost, does that make me a hypocrite? (if you hadn't noticed my self-confidence is non existent and is substituted by constant self-doubt) After thinking it through though, I realised that there is one little but significant difference - I am proud of the past. Our ancestors and everyone who made our life possible. I realised that for me, this day is more of a remembrance day for all the great people who created this country, and not because I am a nationalist. I prefer not to predict the future and Combo wanted to change it, he wanted to 'get his country back', which, again, doesn't make any sense to me, but I think I've already established that.
Now that I reached this point I'm scared to read through what I've written so I'll leave it as it is. I don't know why I felt the urge to write today but I'm sort of glad that I did. I forgot how nice it felt. Anyway, hope you enjoy/get something out of this rambling mess. Btw, this is only my opinion and even if at times I know I sound like a dick, I didn't mean for it to be offensive. Anyhow, hope you have a good day! :)
PS: I am an unorganised mess and have just got around to posting this.